What do I have to be Thankful For?

3…2…1…it’s go time. I step out of the car with my covered dish, deviled eggs. These are not just any deviled eggs, they are my secret recipe, and have been requested at the highest level. Is it the only dish I am trusted with not to make a disaster of…maybe. I begin my journey, dish in hand. A mere two steps from the car I encounter my first obstacle. “Hey Curt, you wanna throw the football?” Luke asks, nerf ball in hand. “Maybe in a minute,” I reply as I place another protective hand over my prized eggs. The assault continues as Robert meets me at the door with the following greeting, “Ah Curt…have an eggs-ellent Thanksgiving.” I laugh heartily as I inch through the door and wonder to myself, did I laugh to hard or not hard enough. Did he believe I was laughing at his joke, or does he know that his joke is not really funny? As I am pondering the comedic endeavors of my uncle I am spotted by Camden. Unfortunately I am so wrapped up in my thoughts that I make eye contact with him for a brief moment. This is a mistake of gigantic proportions (Camden is afraid of me, and only tolerates my presence as long as I never look at him). Camden runs away screaming for his Daddy while Amy gives a ‘what the heck did you do to him’ look. As I am trying to defend myself for my “eye contact infraction” I almost step on Kyden, who smiles and greets me with what in most cultures would be considered nothing less than a scream. I jump (from the volume of the scream), roll to the right to avoid creating another crying child situation (which would also be considered my fault) and come face to face with Ryan. “Hey Curt, you wanna play Madden with me on PS2?” he asks non-challantly. I respond with, “I need to get this to the kitchen, bud,” because getting schooled by a ten year old on a game that is beyond my understanding is not how I want to spend the day. The next three things all happen in less than two seconds and require no more than simple explanations. A random flying object hits me in the side of the head, Sally (a dog) runs past me knocking me into a side table, and Maya blows her nose on my jeans. I see an opening into the kitchen, so I make my move (without wiping off my jeans…I don’t have time for trivial luxuries like removing the snot from my clothing). Holding the eggs high above my head I turn sideways and squeeze through the kitchen door. As I do this I hear Uncle Rob (who is actually an Aunt, but her husband’s name is Robert so everyone calls them “The Uncle Robs”) yell, “Who hit Curt in the head with that toy?” I find the last free space on the counter and deliver my eggs to their rightful spot, I’m almost home free. As I make my way back into the living room I see Josie jumping up and down on the recliner, Emma approaches her…this is my chance. As they both go running off together giggling I slide into the recliner and throw back the lever. I close my eyes and everything fades to black…my work here is done!